This guy turned 55 today. I know. Seriously. That’s what I told him. Double numbers are lucky.
I never knew what a difficult job he had until I got married. He fell in love with AM suddenly one night, and then the next thing he knew he found out it was a package deal. 5 siblings, 6 nieces and nephews and a maltese came with the deal. Little did he know that one of those nieces would make herself quite at home in his life. Suddenly he went from having one woman, to two. And having transitioned from him being the main man in my life, to adding J has required some skill I did not realize it required. I also realized how good he had it when both AM and I were devoted to only him…
Old double fives is a native of Brooklyn. He recently told me Poughkeepsie is upstate New York. I am pretty sure that he believes that. He’s the baby. Two older brothers. I tell myself this is why he loves busting chops so much. His dad was a fiery longshoreman, and I believe this is why my Uncle is such a stand up guy. You have to be a stand up guy to incorporate a 16 year old into your life. He runs marathons. He loves AM more beautifully than any other love I’ve seen in my life. I hope we grow up like them. He is funny. He turns red when he has too much to drink. He is an incredible system of support. He has been known to finish marathons and then come back and help me finish mine. He spent plenty a night mediating tension between his two women. He sees random friends in Paris, has a friend named Juggy in Florida, and when we walk into his favorite neighborhood bar in Brooklyn they still yell “Effing (edited for those of pure ears) Kenny W&*#^@!!!” I love it. When people die, like big people, he and his friend Bobby R race to be the first to call and ask for the dead person. It might sound irreverent to you, but I think it’s hysterical. I try to play, but I never win or I feel like a jerk for delivering bad news. I don’t know. I just don’t have his comedic timing.
I know that I am married to the man that I am because UK showed me what real men are. He’s no nonsense. I kid you not. But he is always generous with the kleenex when AM & I are watching Extremem Makeover: Home Edition. He loves the democrats. He can laugh at himself. He laughs through tears, ours and his own. He wasn’t afraid to expand his heart to a teenager. He loves his family. He has been one of the most supportive and generous individuals I have ever met. Twice in my life he has taken the time to tell me how much he loves me. But you know what, he is who taught me that you don’t have to do that. When you live right. When you love right, you don’t need all those words. He shows me every day in every way that he loves me and he is looking out for my best.
But what he does the very best, is love AM. He calls her Blondie. He takes care of her. She doesn’t often need taking care of, so he figured out how to love her around it. Then, one time, she did happen to need some support he has been the most incredible support structure I have ever seen. He makes her laugh. He is her best friend. He is patient, kind, constant, steady and snarky. He has been the kind of husband and friend that my friends and I have remarked we always hoped we would find. He goes to movies like Bridesmaids and watches the season finale of Oprah. He taught her to love NY. He took her to Paris and he will take her to Italy. He hold her hand, he gives her kisses and he never once cramped her space – she is her own woman and he doesn’t resent that he empowers it. Like TLC sings, “What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man…”
As far as songs go… When I got married he picked a song for us to dance to. He picked the one in the video that I am putting at the end of this post. It is true. If I would not have fallen, he would not have found me. His love has been one of the most stabilizing, healing, self-esteem building things of my life. He proved to me that someone who didn’t share my blood would choose me, just like I was. AM’s love grew me, nurtured me, inspired me, and pushed me forward. UK’s love truly helped heal me, but it never held me. He has lived to see me “up” rather than “down.” He held me with open hands, and even though I’ve flown away, I know that even though home has to be somewhere else now, I will always have a safe place to land.
Happy birthday to you my UK. Thanks for showing me perfectly how to go from a main man, to my mens.