Rainy Days and Wednesdays…

It’s a rainy day in Boston today. I love rain. I absolutely love rain. I love songs about rain. I love that it’s washing things away… I don’t like to think about the polluted acid part of it and I think that’s just fine.

We are a parable of the follies over here. I was sick Sunday night, Justin was sick Monday night, he gave it back to me last night and I have also obtained an exhaustion cold. I sound like a sexy phone line number.

I’m going to try to sneak into the link up today. My friend Jen, who I’ve known since youth group has kind of a bible study/women’s group link up. So if you’re into that head over and check out the group of she bloggers that post there.

I always feel such a pressure to write something relevant for the link up, but today I think I will just share about a conversation that DCWright, J and I had at dinner last night (Giacommo’s then Mike’s for cannoli.) We were talking about deviants. We all have them. Some are quirky ways, some are character flaws, some are major issues, some are hidden past issues etc. We were talking about how in our older age we haven’t grown more “tolerant” per se nor do we feel that there are no absolutes, but we do feel like everyone has their thing and the last thing they need is someone gasping in horror or shame when they discover it.

Think about it. You reveal or have exposed something that you are ashamed of. How do you want someone to meet that revelation. Or even this. You are a serial mistake maker. Do you want people to draw a line and condemn you and set these crazy rules and boundaries, hoops that you have to jump through to prove change? It’s like a probation time at a job, of course you can do what you need to do to keep your job, but what you desperately want is some help, some training or some equipping to help you overcome your obstacles or bad habits that keep you in a perpetual state of less-than efficiency or effectiveness. It’s the same way in our personal lives. So often we try to give people these “diet” plans for character improvement, problem solving or getting back on track. I think plans are well and good, but when what is needed is a perspective change, a heart change, a soul renewal then a diet isn’t the best solution. There is no arguing that it may be of great assistance along the way, but I think in reality what the world needs is a little more gentility.

In my English class we are talking about Internet Freedom of Speech. One of the things we discussed about things going viral is that the bad things go big a lot faster than the good. What if we perpetuated kindness the way we perpetuate frustration. Like the example from my Management class, a satisfied customer tells 3 people. A dissatisfied customer tells 9. COME ON! Seriously.

So here’s the deal. Let’s all take a deep breath. The next time your child, husband, small group project partner, good friend or stranger does something that upsets you. Stop. Take a deep breath. Think. I am loved. I love or like this person (or don’t.) I have so many good gifts. If it were me I would appreciate ___________. THEN ACT. I bet more often than not, you will offer grace. Kindness. Gentility.

Also, can I just say when someone does a great job, when someone is kind, when someone impacts you, when you feel moved. SAY IT. At restaurants and stores I ask for managers to offer compliments. In my classes I tell my professors and their bosses when it’s been an incredible experience or a great class. I share my notes. I stop and take time. I still bark at J when he doesn’t finish a task… I get confused when we make the same mistakes or have the same fights, but instead of condemning one another we are re-committing to each other and the people around us that we will keep working on behaving and thinking about each other in the right way, the way that believes the best, that is based on love and the belief that we are loved. And you know what, if it is cheesy or too half-glass-full then so be it. I could use a little optimism.

Happy Rainy Day and Wednesday, I am off to re-take an Algebra test that three classes bombed, so he’s giving us another chance. Believe me, I am meditating on thoughts of kindness toward this man…

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8 thoughts on “Rainy Days and Wednesdays…

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS, Stephanie!!!! I am in a period in my life when I feel like I am pouring out kindness getting little back. It is probably somewhat my baggage that I am not receiving well, but I think a lot of it is that this world also doesn’t give kindness well. I am also most likely to be critical to the ones I love the very most. I am doing some personality reconstruction. Baby steps!! Love you!!!

  2. Steph, this post really resonated with me. Thank you for your perspective and your positivity. It is so refreshing and such an important reminder of where our heads and hearts need to be. Love this, thank you for sharing.

    xoxo
    K

  3. So, in the spirit of letting people know, I think you are awesome! you are tackling issues in your life, taking on new challenges and being who you are. Job well done!!!

  4. My brain is rapid-firing faster than I can talk, but can I just lead with: I love you. I’m so thankful for your heart and for your words and for the soul you have? If you were in front of me, I think I would just hug you for a really long time and hope that was enough to communicate just how much you are.

    And, as one whose temper can flare a bit too quickly, I heed and hear your words. I will do exactly as you say and just stop. Reevaluate. Breathe. Especially with my kids. Your word breath life into me.

    Finally, there is no pressure at Soli Deo Gloria. The whole point is to be who you are where you are. No judgment and no airs.

    You are beautiful.

  5. Late to the link-up, but glad I’m here!

    First of all, I am a fellow rainy day lover. I don’t know what it is, but I find rain so comforting. I grew up in the midwest, and it was often rainy. . .maybe that’s part of the appeal. ??

    I know what you mean about feeling pressure about writing something relevant for the link-up. I used to feel like that every time I hit that little publish button. Now I just write about where I am. Sometimes it serious, other times it’s silly, but now no pressure.

    That being said, I’m so glad you shared about your conversation. Not at all “cheesy or the glass is half full”, but something we all need to hear.

    Hope to read more from you.

  6. i SO agree with you here..some help/training/equipping is what all of us need. I would love to see more places/churches esp. churches where it is safe to admit we have a problem. So often people don’t know what to do or where to go to get help. I acknowledge there are lots of people that really don’t want help etc. but there are lots that do
    and am challenged by your words today to be more optimistic and give kindness and compassion more than judgement and criticism….nice to meet you too:)
    xo

  7. I know the feeling of exposing a “soft under belly” and worrying about getting poked or put down. It’s our broken human nature that makes it just so much more fun to criticize.

    But it’s is so much more fun to complement people for a job well done. Especially service people, waitresses etc. They are soooo shock and grateful for a well placed complement.

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