Dear Readers (all 4 of you),
Well, with the new schedule I am re-adjusting again. ROUGH. I think I am realizing that there is a need to recognize that this is the way of life for me for the next few years… It’s so weird to think about. Every 5 months new classes, new schedules, new adjustments. I added a class and the honors program to my load, as well I started a new job and added and extra day of work. I didn’t think that adding one extra day, and one extra class would require so much extra effort. I realize as well, that age and perspective don’t totally eliminate procrastinating tendencies, this is only achieved the same way everything else in life is, dedication and hard work. So I am upping my commitment and trying to stay ahead instead of just on target. I saw a blip of someone speaking the other day reminding me that doing things in the moment saves you time in the long run. So here we go. It means that I tumblr more and blog less. It fits my current schedule much better, so if you’re wondering about me in the day to day then you can keep up with the randomness of my thoughts here.
Return of the Jordi sent me a hysterical email this morning that concluded with this;
Who would have ever thought 10 years ago that you would be married to an arkansan, a democrat, living in Boston, applying to [colleges], and applying to fitness jobs. Really?!
SERIOUSLY J – good perspective. How the hell did I get here? Well, I got here as part of the journey. I always thought I’d be in some third world country dodging grenades and loving on people. I have to say that probably J feels like he’s living more of that loving while dodging grenades life… Bahahahaha.
Let me just say, I did not picture myself married to an Arkansan. I mean, it’s not as bad as someone from Oklahoma. As you know I am a Texas girl, and originally when dating someone from Arkansas I thought it was God rewarding Snigs for all the times I put the bumper sticker with a Texas flag on it, that said “I wasn’t born here, but I got here as fast as I could!” on his car during church… But then I realized it was actually providential love for me. Because J is a dream and he is the opposite of all the things about marriage that scared me. I love that man. And Lord knows that all that Arkansas is part of what makes him who he is. I have to also say that the thought of holidays near Mimes, Snigs, Baby E & any of their future children makes me cry. A gift above and beyond.
A Democrat. This is a highlight most accented by the time I was trying to explain to my father that the Republican party had a heart for the poor and needy, they cared about the ‘social’ issues I was concerned with, they stood on ‘my side’ on these particular issues. He slammed his hands on the table, listening to my reasoning and yelled, “YOU ARE NOT A REPUBLICAN.” (how right he was, oh how right he was) This is the man that stands me in front of his 8×10 glossies signed from all the big name Dem players, puts his arm around me and declares, “This is your inheritance.” And he is serious. It used to bother me, now it amuses me, and in light of the New Year’s card we received from Obama, it makes me incredibly grateful. In truth, I think it was watching AM&UK live their life, be active and kindly, patiently and intelligently argue the delicate issues with me in a SAFE PLACE. I also have to give a shout out to my Uncle who is a priest who would talk through the sensitive religious issues with me, abortion, homosexuality, separation of church and state. Love my family for those things. My hope is not in a party or in politics, however, democracy is contingent upon our willingness to be educated about the issues, the constitution, and then to VOTE.
Boston. Good Lord. If I was going to live anywhere other than Texas is was going to be working on behalf of the needy. HOW DID I GET HERE???? I will leave it at that. Still working through my mid-winter blues. Did I mention it’s 40 degrees today. 50 degrees tomorrow. SIXTY DEGREES FRIDAY! Back to cold for the weekend, but I’ll take all the warm I can get.
Applying to college in New England. Home of the Ivy League. I can only shake my head. Never would I ever have imagined. It still feels beyond me. I never thought I would finish school. EVER. I just didn’t think I could. For a million reasons. Many legitimate. You know how it happened. By doing it. Like AM says. Put your big girl panties on and do it. Presto. College applications.
Applying to fitness jobs… SERIOUSLY. I watch Heavy and Hoarders to keep me in check. I am a nut. But I believe in health, and as my dear friend Sarah is a beautiful advocate of, holistic health. Mind, body, soul. Get on the health train. I am working on my mind and my soul, but am proud to have lost the weight and kept it off. Now for balance.
Sometimes I wonder how I ended up here and I think, oh maybe it was where I failed here, or things didn’t work out here. Nope. One foot in front of the other. I didn’t get here by making good decisions, not failing horrifically and publicly, or by great successes, but I did get here one blind step at a time. And though there have been parts of the journey I was not that thrilled with, and that were full of tears and fear, I am so deeply grateful for this moment and this place. Like AM says for every mile on the road there’s one in the ditch, and that’s not cynical, that’s real. There are highs and lows and they don’t mean life is good or bad, just that it’s real. Good and bad, beautiful and ugly. That’s what makes it life. So keep your bearing and laugh at yourself. A healthy ability to laugh at yourself will keep you truckin’, that and the new iPhone app – HeyTell.