We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with AL&UM and the cousins and the cousins kids. I did not cry though I did miss AM&UK… They were at the Texas game and ignoring our texts, so we don’t think they really missed us, but we think they might not have minded if they had missed some of that game. Tough.
Things over here at casa de Boo & CC have both gotten a bit more stable and also not really anything has changed. I am knee deep in school work, trying to keep up with the house, make major decisions about my future and also figure out how to make money in light of the fact that my steady job took a two month break, right at Christmas time. Bummer. The tears have stopped for the most part. For now it’s just a steady stream of stress, anxiety and panic about the unknown. Thankfully I have a standing appointment with my psychiatrist and it’s advent.
I love Advent. Advent moves my heart in the same way that the “I Believe” stuff all over everything at the The Christmas Tree Store does. Well, maybe more. Advent feels like the re-set of my spiritual year. Like the time where for forty days, you can read these simple psalms and foretelling of things hoped for, waited for… Even if you are not a specifically religious person, it’s such a great time for a quieting down and moments of awe. We are all spiritual people, and we all need periodical re-sets. We all know about hopeful anticipation. Or more cynically stated, waiting and wondering.
Life feels a lot like that for us right now. Waiting, wondering. Trying to keep our hearts hopeful, expectant, but also happy and content. What a difficult tension. Do any of you know what I mean? I don’t want to look so much to the horizon that I miss the blooming lilies at my feet, and somehow I want to hope for the coming sun. Believe the new day is coming. Not harden my heart with cynicism and protection from disappointment. So. I am revisiting Advent. The ultimate moment of hoping and waiting met with what was beyond anyone’s expectations. It should be a good reminder for my heart and my spirit.
Happy Advent all. I wish you great peace and joy this holiday season. More than that I wish you hope and expectancy in this adventure of life. I have a feeling it all dwells in simplicity. I’m on the journey too…