Laptop Rebellion, Restoring Sanity and Thoughts on My Younger Self

For some reason my laptop has stopped charging, occasionally. And by occasionally I mean, like every 2 or 20 minutes it just stops charging and gives me the “warning” screen that I have .064 seconds until end times shutdown. Geez. I don’t know how to tell the laptop this, but if he dies we’re not going to be buying any new laptops, so he’s going to need to go ahead and hold on, because, well, it’s the only option.

Ummm, did anyone see this? WordPress is rejecting posting it, but you can follow the link. It’s John Stewart at his best. You can skip the first few minutes of niceties. The rest is an intelligent response to the horror that has become the current political environment. Watch and be comforted.

Have I mentioned how cold I am? It’s currently 36 but feels like 29 – I am pretty sure it’s 19 in my house where for some reason my husband refuses to turn on the heat NO MATTER HOW COLD I AM OR HOW FROZEN MY FEET ARE. I am sitting under a wool blanket frozen. The weather is promising 47 degrees today, I think I’ll wait until we peak there to run.

So JL’s mom Cindy sent this in response to Penny’s letter:
Penny, I’m close to sixty also. How beautifully you articulated those truths. It’s so strange to have never had a conversation with any one older or younger about what life looks like at this stage. Thanks Stephanie for challenging us to think about it, even to write it down. I plan to write more. Penny said it well to enjoy Jesus and let Him enjoy you as you would one of your children. I heard Graham Cooke say our mistakes are like a child trying to walk and falling. The Lord picks us up and kisses our tummy and sets us back to try again. I agonized over trying to get it “right” with marriage & child-rearing. The Twelve Steps have helped with some perspective on turning my life over to God one day at a time. Offer your life to Him in the morning for His service and then thank Him at night for all of those blessings. Life is made up of moments. Mary did the better thing by sitting at Jesus’ feet. You’ll have to fight for it. The world has totally different values.
Jesus talks a lot about the poor. I wish I would have spent more time up until this point serving.
Blessings and love to the thirty year olds and sixty year olds and those in between.

Now, I know these letters have a very Jesus theme. But I want to encourage you that I think spirituality is a really important part of peace. Whether it’s taking time to get quite and reflect, journal and be still. Reading Gandhi or Mother Teresa, or pursuing the presence of God. It’s important for the deeper parts of us to come in contact with reality, life away from little worries and burdens and the peace that passes understanding. I look forward to letters from more women with wisdom on life, from all different perspectives and directions.

As for me. I was thinking about what advice I would offer. Obviously, none on marriage. Since here, 5 short months in I feel like we know less than we’ve ever known about love and are just learning what thinking past this moment into “lifetime.” I still contend that marriage counseling should talk less about the inevitable “sex and finance” conflict and more about the CONSTANT “driving and little shit” conflict. However if I could go back and tell my mid-twenties self anything (we all know there is no point, you can’t tell someone in their mid-twenties anything) these are some of the things I would say

1 – Worry less about your weight and more about your health. Get healthy and stay healthy. This is the easiest time in your life to get on it, it’s not that easy later.
2 – Life really is your oyster, travel, play, work at a cafe in Italy. There won’t be time or luxury to do it later. And in this day and age, it won’t affect the kind of job you get later. Promise.
3 – Don’t minimize your need for something to believe in and something to fight for. My faith is not a crutch, my faith is a part of me, and the decisions I have made to work internationally have been partially as an outpouring of my faith and partially because I needed to do it for me. To remind myself that life was bigger than my overdrawn bank account, and latest failed crush.
4 – Stop worrying about who and if you’re going to get married, and working so hard to make it happen. When you find yourself dressed in white, you’ll know, it was Goodness that led you there, not games, worrying, over-analyzing and drama. Sit tight and enjoy life, it’ll be gone before you know it.
5 – A long time ago while running in Central Park I asked my most trusted mentor, AM some questions that I had spent a long time thinking about: The first was, Is this where she thought her life would be at 50? She VERY honestly said that her husband and her BELOVED (emphasis added by author) CC were fantastic, but truthfully, she looked up and 30 years had passed, and at that point, had just kind of happened (I don’t find this to be totally accurate, but I understand what she meant.) She encouraged me to not let life happen to me, but to make decisions and take action. She reminded me that you can’t make a decision, just make a decision and if it’s not the right one, make another one.
She also told me that the healthiest relationships are ones that have an outward focus. They didn’t get me until I was 16, but they had only been married 5 years at that point. However, she realized even then that if you live a life totally focused on you – it implodes, and a relationship cannot bear the weight of so much self-focus. I am almost 100% sure that she’s right.
It’s some of the best advice I ever got. So two things you can take from that – Be brave enough to ask your heroes questions, they know things. Also, listen to them. They know things.
6 – My last piece of advice is similar – It always gets better, and it can also get worse. Be thankful and hopeful. Like AM says, “People love to be around a positive person.” And hear me, she is no BS optimist. She is real, sincere and funny, but she is always on the sunny side of the street and it’s because she has the wherewithal to cross over to it. We should do the same.

Now to watch the temperature so I can fit this run in at the high temp of the day. Maybe I’ll have a little piece of half-birthday cake while I wait. THANKS LADY A!!!!!

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