This weekend was Head of the Charles. This is where a bunch of rowers come to Boston and they compete in this competition along the Charles River. It is really beautiful. The rowers, the weather, the trees.
I was going to upload a picture here but I am too lazy to transfer it from my phone to here. You can google images and see how pretty it was. Or imagine.
So on Friday night we went to this neighborhood French place and celebrated our monthaversarry. Yes. We have been married now for either 5 months or 7 years and 5 months depending on whether you give more authority to the actual date of our wedding or to our marriage certificate.
Then on Saturday morning we slept in. We normally go to Yoga but we were so tired and so we slept until 8:30. I know. It’s an exciting life that we lead. Then because LadyA and ArchitectA FINALLY came home from vacation we headed immediately over to their house for brunch where we learned that in their absence EV had learned to call her father by his given name and to say eggs. She says AA’s name more readily than eggs, but no one is totally sure why. She also learned to “jump.” This is an activity where she kind of snakes her neck in a smooth motion as if she is ducking and then shifts her weight from side to side. It is seriously cute and funny. We also found out she has a texture fetish, as in loves to stick her fingers in vaseline. You can imagine among the four adults in the room the kind of jokes these things lead to… Evidenced publicly in comments on blog posts, and facebook walls.
Justin and I then fought ridiculous and inappropriate Boston traffic to pick up JTHSF. We took her to see the rowers, we made her cook dinner with us and then headed back over to LA and AA’s for dinner. She agreed that EV is one of the cutest kids of all time. We then had a fantastic dinner laughing about times we have encountered celebrities and other more unmentionable dinner time topics.
Sunday we headed out to AL&UM’s for a work day. We helped get the gardens ready for winter and hauled wood. JTHSF was a trooper. Somewhere in there Boo’s knee started swelling and aching and we realized he was in pretty bad shape. So, this morning we made and appt with the orthopedic surgeon. Eeek. Never good when a man who has a knee with 17 metal pins and the bones resemble shattered glass is having swelling and knee pain…
So we came home last night to football (my fantasy team lost to DEG, her QB is Brett Favre – how do you loose to that? They boo’d him off the field… GAAAAH – I am destined to be last in my league) and the Wire. I noticed that my eyes were watering and that my nose had some increased fluidity. I woke up this morning to a pile of kleenex on my bedside table, one between my toes and one in my hand. Wow. It must have been quite a night.
On the topic of women’s mental health – well, I guess I am bringing it up. I have sent messages to some women in my life and asked them to write a letter to the 30/35 year old version of themselves. In the spirit of It Gets Better I think it might be helpful for women to be reminded that they are not alone in their self-critical ways and that in the end it’s probably wasted time. So stay tuned… So far 1, yes, only one has agreed to do it. But she’s a good one and I am going to keep hounding the others.
However, I just want to recount a few things that my Aunt has told me. “People love to be around a positive person.” This is the woman who has somehow mastered wry humor and optimism. I find this to be one of the most brilliant character quality pairings of all time. She also tells me, “Just assumed that everyone loves you and wants your best.” I think this helps in not being self-critical. You can assume the people around you will be patient with you if you believe this, it makes it much easier to be patience with yourself when you feel no pressure. She also has a really famous one, “You can’t make a bad decision, just make a decision. If you don’t like it, you can make another one and change it.” There are no yeah but responses to this. It is simple, practical and true. Stop making life more dramatic than it is, and start making it more simple. You can only benefit.
In Corinthians Paul talks about a simplicity of devotion. Simple devotion. I find this principle to be cross applicable. With Boo, he doesn’t need all these big fancy expressions of my love. Steady, consistent, present love in the every day is far more valuable to him than inconsistency for days or weeks and then a big to do to try to make compensate. It’s the same with all of life. Be where you are, start where you are, do what you can and build on that. If you can’t build on it, and that’s all you can handle, then do that as brilliantly as you can and relish in the quality and simplicity of it. I contend that people love to be around both positive and peaceful people. I am setting my sights on baby steps toward both. Hopefully some letters from those who have gone before us will appear soon.